


this life is simulated, but i still play it

by ElasticElla



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Implied Relationships, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e02 Everything Is Bonzer! (Part 2), Season/Series 03, reaction fic slipping in for twenty sweet hours of canon compliance, spoilers through the season premiere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: The boss man trustedhim, only took him out of a cocoon early, and Trevor is gonna nail this assignment. Oh yeah, he’s gonna fucking nail it and these four dweebs will be back where they belong in the Bad Place forever.





	this life is simulated, but i still play it

**Author's Note:**

> title from dumbfoundead's [this life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8WGFw0uqX8&list=PL686945D9CE2AFDF1&index=3)

Trevor is pumped to be on Earth for the first time. Everywhere he looks humans are torturing themselves and each other in a fantastic orgy of pain. Sure, it’s more subtle than what awaits them in a few short years- but it has that shine of hope he’s never been able to replicate, that things might just get better. 

The boss man trusted _him_ , only took him out of a cocoon early, and Trevor is gonna nail this assignment. Oh yeah, he’s gonna fucking nail it and these four dweebs will be back where they belong in the Bad Place forever. (Vicky’s gonna be so pissed when she cracks out of her cocoon- she might be their best actress, but she’s still stuck in goo.) 

He might not have powers here, but Earth Trevor is gonna be the slickest nerd ever- get each of the four to fall back into their bad habits before they can say fork. 

.

Simone _finally_ finishes her explanation of how the experiment’s going to work, and Trevor’s cheeks are beginning to hurt from holding the ‘sincere and socially awkward’ smile. He wishes he could merely set the room on fire and be done with it, but Shawn was very clear about the ramifications of being caught on Earth. 

His meatsuit’s stomach grumbles, saving the day as he whips out yet another embarrassed smile. “Sorry, I haven’t eaten yet- airplane food. Any good places to eat around here?” 

Tahani perks up, “Oh my late friend Steve- bless his soul- told me if I ever came to Australia I simply _had_ to try Down Under Thunder. A most divine wings place.” 

The name clicks in Trevor’s head, though he can’t remember specifics. A promising sign still, and he says, “Sounds great. Anyone wanna join?” 

There’s general muttering, and Trevor decides to get the ball rolling. “I’ll buy the first round of drinks. Ever since I nearly died, it reminds me how much I need to live every day to the fullest.” 

A bunch of the plebs nod, and Eleanor says, “Right on bro.” 

And one very crowded uber later, the six arrive at the Down Under Thunder. Upon entering, it clicks, and Trevor has to hold back a giant grin. It’s a strip club, the dancers almost exclusively male. 

Eleanor grins, “Your friend like Hooters’ wings too?” 

Tahani’s cheeks darken, eyes looking anywhere except the entertainment. “I must have- must be mistaken. My apologies, we can dine elsewhere.” 

Simone comes back from the hostess station, where she apparently snuck off to, a wide grin on her face. “I got us the huge booth next to the stage! How awesome is that? Can you believe I’ve never been to one of these? Working too hard,” she says with a laugh. 

“Alright, new experiences,” Chidi says, looks only marginally like he might be ill any moment. She grabs his hand, and they all follow the hostess, Trevor pleased with the new development. The dorks banging it out couldn’t possibly end well with Chidi’s track record, and maybe down here Eleanor would get it up for teacher again-

“You good hot stuff?” Eleanor asks Tahani in a surprisingly soft voice. “We can jet if you want.” 

_Even better._

Between Eleanor’s insecurity and Tahani’s need for the spotlight, it’s just a matter of time before that turns into a flaming pile of garbage. Tahani’s definitely kissed girls before for attention, maybe one of them needs to visit Australia.

Trevor is so pleased, he doesn’t notice until they sit down that this leaves him with their local Florida man. 

.

“-so I miss dancing. And Pillboi and Donkey Doug, but man I can not go back to prison. Three strikes and you’re-”

A saint for listening to this bullshit. And listening is a loose term. New torture method: throw this dumb-dumb on a stage and make everyone pay attention forever. He could play the usher and go around stabbing people when they doze off. Really, when it comes down to it- that’s where old Mikey boy fucked up- not nearly enough stabbing in his experiment. 

Their waiter brings over eight plates of wings because Tahani hadn’t eaten wings since the 90s, and Trevor’s curious how Chidi’s doing with his pretending to be decisive thing. (Trevor’s hand might also slip when he’s getting the red hot wings for himself, spilling salt all over Tahani’s plate.) 

Her eyes go comically wide when she bites into the salty chicken, and Trevor turns to Jason. 

“That must be so hard for you to be away from your whole crew.” 

He sighs, “Yeah. I tried to get Pillboi to come with me, but he said a boat to the underworld required gold and he needed to rob a bank first. And I reminded him what happened the last time we tried to rob a bank. So he told me he’s gonna catch a leprechaun and get three wishes and come to Australia.” 

Trevor blinks, an odd human thing that makes for a nice delay, and Eleanor’s trashbag mouth comes in useful for the first time ever. “So like, maybe February?” 

Jason nods, says something incomprehensible through a mouthful of chicken that has Trevor looking to Simone. But she looks more awestuck than anything, murmuring none-too-quietly to Chidi, “This experiment is going to be _wild_.” 

Trevor has understood words from people getting their entrails ripped out and completely covered in arachnids with eight tentacled legs- clearly there’s something to the Down Under Thunder wings. They’re gonna be the new star food of the bad place- they’ll still turn to slugs in the suckers’ mouths- but more incomprehensible screaming and less specific complaints is the dream. 

(Sure it can make for some nice extra personalized torture- but who has the _time_? There’s so many souls to torture, to focus so heavily on one is truly wasteful.) 

“Hey! What if you taught us to dance?” Trevor says. 

The other four look mildly uninterested to alarmed, but Jason is so excited, most of them switch to politely intrigued. (Arizona dirtbag can already see where this is going, damn her frown.)

“Really? I’ve never taught anyone anything. Well, except lil Britney how to pick a lock and coldwire a car and-” 

“I don’t know if-” Chidi starts, the fuckin’ nerd pushing his glasses up. 

“It’s fate man. You miss dancing, we’re a bunch of schmucks who can’t dance-”

Tahani clears her throat, “I’ll have you know a certain queen, it doesn’t matter what country Rania rules, taught me the foxtrot.” 

“-it’ll be a great time!” 

Jason’s grin manages to grow somehow, eyes shining with undiluted joy, “This is gonna be so dope!” 

(It is _not_. And Trevor’s going to enjoy watching that enthusiasm fade.)

.

The dance crew doesn’t even last two weeks before it’s just Jason giving him individual lessons. Which really put a damper on his ‘six-person orgy so depraved it’d feel like being back at home’ plans. (Simone, the freaky genius, is destined for the Good Place and he aches to drag her down to their level by any means necessary.)

He’s running late to their Thursday lesson- and by running, he’s walking as slowly as possible while still looking like he’s trying to move quickly. (It’s all in the arms.) He has a hysterical excuse about abandoned puppies and car crashes for the moment he arrives. 

Only when he gets there, Jason isn’t bopping over the stage like a crossbred beach ball and roomba. He’s sitting with his head in his hands, and dammit it’s too early for Trevor to break character and laugh. (It’s only logical. It has nothing to do with his throat being dry, and the only brittle amusement crumbling.)

“Hey buddy, you okay?” he asks, joining him on stage. 

Jason swipes at his face, struggling to get up, “Yeah dog, you know me ha-haa.” 

His voice trails off, and Trevor sits with him, putting a hand on his knee. “What’s going on?” 

He slumps, doesn’t try getting up again. “Am I a good teacher?” 

“What?” Trevor asks before he can think about it, or even properly weigh his options. 

Jason sighs, “When I left Jacksonville, I wanted to become a better person. But nothing I do works. You’re the only one that still comes to dance practice, and that’s only because you’re nice!” 

Trevor blinks, dumbfounded. 

_Nice._

Jason’s looking even more dejected with his silence, and fuck- he’s a better actor than this. 

“I’m not that nice.” 

Jason cuts him a look, “You don’t like dancing.” 

Fuck. 

“Uh… I’m getting better? So yeah, you're a good teacher man.” 

Jason hugs him suddenly, a rush of warmth that makes him nostalgic and clutch him back. Jason’s so much warmer than the other humans, probably because he’s living currently, he can even feel his heart beat. 

It’s the novelty that makes him forget to let go. It has nothing to do with how often he’s been hanging out with Jason on Earth, how his assignment was supposed to be complete weeks ago, or even that he’s begun to enjoy this dreary place. (It has nothing to do with Earth, Trevor knows how to make his own fun- could have fun even in the _real_ Good Place.) 

Jason shifts back, and a pathetic sound crawls out of his meatsuit, one he would never admit to making. Jason’s eyes go wide, glow again and Trevor hates how nice they look- he should want to pluck them out or have them shine with tears at least. He _shouldn’t_ be thinking of compliments and stupid human similes. (Worse still, his mind keeps falling into cliché traps: those eyes shining like gems, like something to be treasured and admired.) 

“Yeah?” Jason murmurs, close enough for his breath to tease, close enough that Trevor’s mind is scrambled. (It must be an Earth thing, part of no longer having his powers. No one’s ever… _seduced_ him. What a laughable idea.) 

His head nods without permission, a move that proves brilliant as Jason kisses him. Jason kisses like it’s a game with only winning and wetness and warmth, and when a hand slips up to cup his head, Trevor has never felt so human. His mind stops, and he just enjoys the moment, tongue curling to draw a moan out of Jason. 

(It’s only being powerless that keeps his body from going aflame at the sound, and yeah, alright- he likes Earth. Sue him.)


End file.
